CELLPHONE ZOMBIES: Who doesn’t love the Lord’s Prayer? The Serenity Prayer? The Prayer Of Surrender? Complete your faith now with . . . the Asshole’s Prayer.
The lighter side of sex.religion.politics. And who doesn’t need a laugh these days? Especially in America, where moral outrage is almost as popular as guns.
I can’t date a narcissist. You see, promoting the illusion of my own importance to my many imaginary fans takes up all my time.
What’s your Native American Name? It might be something really lovely and inspiring. Something you can be proud to repeat. Or . . .
Today’s Inappropriate Humor: Be sure to share this with your family, at work, at church, with Republicans, Mormons . . . you get the picture.
Hey, wait a minute! Sell all I have and follow you . . . where? Can I see the place before I make up my mind?
If you’ve ever worked for a guy who should have been an interrogator at Guantanamo, or a third-world dictator, then this bartender joke is for you.
This Wilde-like quip is not exclusive to me. It can be used by any smart, handsome feller who is . . . still single.
VERBAL SELFIE: Tired of looking up facts? Well, guess what! You’re already an expert on one important topic. So, start quoting thyself!
PHONY SMILE: Imagine Captain Kirk as a middle-age parking valet, working with people whose parents are 10 years younger than he.
Low self-esteem is not so bad. Better than NO self-esteem. Do a few things well, next thing ya know, you’re feeling good about yourself.